The idea of living in the moment or living in the present, seems to have taken on greater emphasis in recent years. And for good reason. After all, the thought goes that it’s better to be appreciating, thankful for, and noticing what is going on in the present moment, than it is to be depressed and looking at the past or anxious and looking toward the future. How are you at living in the moment and appreciating the good in the present situation? Whether it’s savoring a good meal, being in awe of a beautiful sunrise or sunset, noticing a moment on vacation, or enjoying time with a loved one or friend, it’s good to be aware of the moments of life. Recently, I’ve loved enjoying the wonderfully colorful sky in the morning as the sun rises on my way to work. Several times lately, I’ve been struck by the ideal temperature as I leave the office at the end of the day. I like the term glimmer that someone coined to describe these moments where all seems right with the world and life is good. I also think of being thankful as part of living in the present. I do think we can will or train ourselves to stay more in the moment.

If you find yourself regularly thinking about the past or worrying about the future, it may be because there are things internally that need to be processed and that, without being worked through, keep you stuck in either fight/flight or shut down/collapsed/frozen or both. In such cases, living in the moment is extremely difficult and happens infrequently. In such cases, being curious about what your nervous system and brain may be trying to alert you to is vital. An undue focus on the past or future may be an indication that there is some experience that wants to be resolved, that several parts of your system are in conflict, or that some part needs something (empathy, validation, understanding). While trying to convince or talk yourself into enjoying the moment may work for some people sometimes, sometimes more is needed. Statements such as “the past in the past” and “there’s nothing you can do about the future”, while sounding good, aren’t necessarily psychologically helpful when something more relationally oriented is needed. Providing these kinds of relational experiences has a much greater chance of helping a person enjoy the present.

What’s your experience of living in the moment?